According to the World Health Organization’s website, the definition of what we call “burnout” is; “Burn-out is a syndrome conceptualized as resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed. It is characterized by three dimensions: feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion; increased mental distance from one’s job, feelings of negativism or cynicism related to one's job; and reduced professional efficacy.
How many funeral professionals do you know that have burned out and walked away from the industry? How many do you know that have burned out several times but just keep coming back for more? I know a lot of those people, funeral people are interesting folk, almost masochist in nature, I’ve often called us gluttons for pain! But what are some of the specific pressure points for burnout in our noble profession?
Here are five unique reasons for burning out in the funeral industry so you can avoid it
Hamster-wheel of Grief- Get ‘um in get ‘um out! I’ve got another family coming in an hour! Or as a crematory operator friend put it, “Burn and turn baby we’ve got another hand to play” with our business, it never stops. Back when I was a drunk, there was this regular I would see at the bar after I left the funeral home after work. He would always have a new funeral director joke for me when I came in. They usually revolved around how “they’re dying to get in” & “I’ll always have job security”. Stupid jokes, we hear them all the time but the truth of that joke is the double-edged sword, yeah they are always coming in, but, THEY ARE ALWAYS COMING IN! It never stops, and it takes a lot of vigilance to stay away from the negativity that can bring into your mind.
Familiarity with the dead- I like to say that this job is like existing behind the veil of society, by that I mean you know things normal people walking around just don't know. Why do some police officers and soldiers become cold and unfeeling after years on the job? Because witnessing trauma day in and day out isn't normal, and for your brain to cope it puts up all these different barriers to keep us from losing our minds.
Resentment towards the grieving- Just starting out helping people on the worst day of their life is like a drug, it feels soooo good being the professional everyone turns to. But that drug tapers off fast and then once you’ve seen everything, experienced everything, it no longer makes you feel good about yourself helping the bereaved. Now you are beginning to resent the people who walk through the doors asking for help because you were just about to take lunch and this family wants a full traditional service which is going to take hours to plan.
Negative groupthink- Do not listen to the twenty-year veterans of the funeral industry who say all of the negative things, who encourage you down a path to not caring, sitting around the breakroom complaining about everything. Misery loves company and there are some very nasty people in our industry who only want to hurt others. Avoid these people at all costs. More often than not these are the same people who embalm without gloves, so you already know to avoid them anyways!
Nihilism- the biggest and most unaddressed problem I see with most professionals. Nihilism always ends in Burnout because Nihilism is a fundamental rejection of morality and an acceptance that nothing in life means anything. This is an open and conscious rejection of our grieving rituals and basic human needs This belief system is unbelievably devastating to the psyche of the funeral professional. Most of us got into this business because of the calling that we have for it, but the ever-crashing waves of grief we face day in and day out can chip that away until we no longer believe in the importance of the rituals of death
Essentially this all ends in the usual result for our people, becoming fat drunk depraved individuals, seeking endless short-term pleasures the second they leave work just to feel something. This job is very good at breaking down your norms and stripping away your personhood. Do not Live and die with every family that walks through the door, but also don't allow yourself to start hating them for having their feelings, but most importantly don't lean into the darkness, I know that most of us are goth kids at heart, but don't abandon meaning and morality for short term vice. Hedonism is bad guys lol. it is easy to run out of empathy if you do not take the time to balance your life and keep some joy in your heart.
